red carpet faux pas.

Dear Red Carpet Lovers,

Ready for the bomb to drop? Here are my top 6 worst dressed from the 2013 Award Season. Here goes the beheading… 

6. Anne Hathaway at the Oscars: Must we say it? Come on honey... you’re Anne Hathaway, you’re BFF’s with Mr. Valentino himself! Walking around with your tatas showing (or at least with a dress designed to make it look like they are)? You are so much better than that! She allegedly changed her dress last minute because Amanda Seyfried was wearing a very similar design, so I’ll pretend it’s a legitimate excuse for her dress not being steamed… 

5. Kristen Stewart at the Oscars: Can someone give this girl a comb? And shampoo for that matter? Every single time that I’ve seen K.Stew on a red carpet, she has the “I don’t care about anything” face on. I’m sorry Mrs. Too-Cool-For-Anyone, but being at the Oscars is a privilege and doing the red carpet is a choice. If you don’t care enough to make yourself look presentable, then you should’ve taken the back entrance. Now that I’m done my ranting, on to her dress: done right, it could’ve looked good, but she didn’t accessorize appropriately which changed the entire look.

 

4. Nicole Richie at the Golden Globes: The pattern on this dress looks like something that could’ve come out of Candy Land™ and this shade of blue is quite bright to be placed on a floor length dress with long sleeves. The dress was also too mature for Nicole: she’s so young and beautiful, there’s no reason to cover up this much. The matching eye shadow was overkill, the random red bracelet peeking out is so out of place and the boho\grungy clutch has nothing to do with the theme of the dress. Needless to say, this was a train wreck. Lesson here? Always use a stylist.

3. Alyssa Milano at the Golden Globes: You’d think with all the money these celebrities have, they’d pay someone to steam their dress, no? This color is hideous in silk, and not having steamed the dress makes it look even worse. It’s way too big for her: the poor tailoring makes her look bigger then she actually is. She’s wearing an overload of accessories and they are too intense for this dress; a big blue ring and earrings, why, why would you do this to yourself? Goodness, I only hope she didn’t pay someone to do this to her, terrible look.

 

2. Jessica Chastain at the Golden Globes: The girl’s face in the background says it all... What was she thinking!? I was so disappointed in her; she is usually someone to watch on the red carpet, she even had the #1 spot on my best dressed list last year! I swear, it looks like her hair stylist put her hands on each side of her head with gel, and just pushed it back. You’d think horns were about to grow out of her head! Moving along to the disaster that is her dress, why was it not tailored properly? She looks like she has saggy granny breasts and the pleat down the middle of her stomach makes her look pregnant. Girl you were way off here... Better luck next year?

1. Lisa D’Amato at the Grammys: What in God’s name possessed her to wear this? Tyra Banks would not approve. This girl is gorgeous, she doesn’t need to compensate with this extravagantly-ugly-over-the-top dress. We understand Lisa, you have a big personality, but tone it down a little, girl. You can do so much better, next time hire a stylist and a makeup artist.

Well folks, that’s a wrap! Hope you enjoyed my two-part Red Carpet rant!

Love to hate,
Jess